I received an email from a college student a while ago about a woman who had become moody about something that had happened and was asking how to deal with it…
And he also asked me if I think it has something to do with her romantic interest in him.
His message got me thinking about the moods women experience and how we as men should generally respond to them…
So in this article I want to give you a solid basic guide on how to manage a woman’s moods.
The many moods of a woman…
First, as you probably already know, women tend to experience far more moods and mood swings than men in general…
So, as a general rule, the biggest key to a woman’s mood swings is NOT to take them personally .
Think of her moods like visiting Baskin Robbins – they represent many different flavors of her for you to experience.
At least you never get bored! =)
This is how we should generally think about a woman’s moods.
However, there are exceptions to this, including what happens when her interest wanes, her general outlook on life, and the scars and baggage she brings to your relationship with her.
Now let’s break down some of these elements and refine how we deal with this area of life:
A woman’s moods and interest…
1. When a woman’s interest in you increases, she tends to become happier in general…
And the less interested she is in you, the more negative her mood becomes when she’s around you.
The key here is look for PATTERNS .
Was she sweet to you for 5 years and now, all of a sudden, she starts firing verbal “zingers” your way?
Or did she tease you like that the first day you met her and still does it 15 years later?
Is there anything changing about her behavior or has she generally been like this over time? ?
This will tell you whether or not the way she feels around you is related to her interest in you.
An amazing woman who is deeply in love with you will nevertheless experience a variety of ever-changing moods because she is a woman…
That’s what I talked about earlier – we should never take this aspect of female life personally.
However, an amazing woman who was madly in love with you and may have lost some of her interest then start acting differently in your presence .
So you have to ask yourself:
A. Is this aimed specifically at me or is it just a part of your life that would be there whether I’m here or not?
B. Is she generally like that sometimes, isn’t she? have their feelings and behaviors changed significantly from what they were before?
Make sense?
Impressively.
Let us continue:
2. It’s important to be with a woman who has a good attitude towards life in general, whether she’s with you or not…
In other words, ask yourself:
What is this woman’s DEFAULT SETTING? ?
It’s normal for all of us, especially women, to experience all sorts of emotions and moods…
It’s okay and normal to feel angry, sad, upset, confused, frustrated, etc. at times.
When we’re looking for a long-term relationship partner, it’s crucial for us that we (just) choose to be with someone who’s basically positive versus someone who’s in a bad mood most of the time , no matter what happens.
I mean, if a woman has a bad attitude or isn’t very flexible in general, you probably won’t enjoy spending 50 years with her…
And a woman with a bad attitude can fall deeply in love with you, so this is an independent factor from her interest .
Of course, as we keep discussing here, a woman MUST be interested in you and available (not a boyfriend or husband and living close enough to you) in order for her to be the right woman for you…
But she also MUST have a good attitude – the way she experiences life without you has to be positive in general for her to be the right woman for you.
So look for a woman who is (generally) pleasant and (mostly) has a good attitude.
Look for someone who has a solid STANDARD ATTITUDE (and work on yours to make sure they’re on that side of things, too, when needed).
And then just make sure their interest rate level rises to 9/10 or higher and don’t take their changing moods personally.
That’s the best thing we can do in this life, because we are human and women too. =)
And honestly, it would get a bit boring if we only had 1-2 moods and women didn’t have even more than we do.
3. It’s also important to be with a woman who is relatively emotionally stable. .
This may sound contradictory at first, but it is not.
In general, all women have many different moods that change frequently.
A woman with a lot of scars, baggage, past trauma that has not healed, etc. can experience a lot of constantly (or frequently) inappropriate moods.
Sometimes a woman’s mood does not depend on the current situation; Sometimes she brings in a lot of things from the past and then she feels the way she does.
If that happens once or twice a year, it’s probably not a big deal…
When it happens much more often, it becomes problematic.
Again, the key is to look for patterns…
Does she fly off the handle every time something happens, no matter how small it is?
Does she constantly overreact to everything?
Does she bring baggage from the past into present situations, thereby amplifying/changing her feelings in the present?
Or did she just have several things happening in a row that this little thing overdid her and she overreacted for once, but she’s not usually like that?
Does she typically feel the emotions one would expect from someone in a given situation, or is she emotionless or has exaggerated emotions all the time?
None of us are perfect at this, but it’s important to spend most of our time with a woman who has feelings appropriate to the situation .
And this isn’t just important for you and your mental health (it’s very important for your mental health in a long-term relationship); If you decide to have children with her, think about the impact this may have on your children.
Look, we don’t judge a woman who is emotionally unstable or belittles her; We feel empathy for her and what she’s probably been through – we just don’t want to be in a long-term relationship with someone like that because we can’t develop a healthy bond with her even if we do everything right (unless she’s working to heal yourself, etc. – and we have to). Take her as she is right now because only she can work on herself and only she can decide when to do it for herself (which may never be the case). Also, it will negatively impact your quality of life over time.
While we don’t take a woman’s ever-changing moods personally, we look for a woman who is generally emotionally stable.
Otherwise, even if we do everything right , we will have problems across the board .
4. While you can’t control a woman’s mood and shouldn’t take it personally, sometimes you CAN try to change her mood…
Not by telling her it’s wrong to think the way she does, or implying that she shouldn’t feel that way…
We don’t want to try violence or make her “wrong” in the way she feels.
That can backfire in spectacular ways. =)
What you want to do is put yourself in the mood you want her in, and then see if she follows you there .
Without any pressure.
And if not, that’s fine.
Again, it’s normal for her to feel all sorts of things and we’re not going to take it personally or worry too much about it unless it’s a change in the way she treats us, the persists over time.
Here’s an example of when it’s okay to try to change her mood (not her mind). :
Let’s say you both have something fun planned and she’s a little depressed for a second just before you head out…
In this case, you can try to change their mood.
If she’s reluctant to go out, you can say something like, “Yeah, you’re right. The concert is getting so boring and we’re getting old, so we probably shouldn’t go. Fun is bad for heart health at our age…”
Notice how you feel I agree with her and exaggerate what she says to make it sound kinda silly…
You’re not saying she shouldn’t think like that.
It’s like telling someone not to smile …
Sometimes this works and they end up smiling, although directly telling them to smile doesn’t work very well.
If you say something like this, make sure you put yourself in a funny mood too…
See if a comment like this and your mood allow her to follow you there .
If she wakes up after a few minutes, that’s great!
Have fun with her, you did well.
If she isn’t, decide whether you’re okay with her feeling this way and going along anyway, or just drop the activity and not make a big deal out of it.
Handling this situation well will pay off later provided she is emotionally stable overall and has a good attitude.
5. Finally, when it comes to a woman’s mood, interest, attitude, and scars/baggage, what matters most at the end of the day is HOW SHE TREATS THEM…
Does she treat you well most of the time, even when she’s in a “negative” mood?
Does she apologize when she crosses the line with you based on her mood?
Does she generally treat you well?
Has the way she treats you changed?
If a woman treats you well most of the time and generally has a good attitude towards life without you, she is a Guardian…
And again, we shouldn’t take their moods personally.
Just make sure you do everything right with her so that she falls in love and stays deeply in love with you .
If she doesn’t treat you well and/or has a bad attitude in general, then…
We’re not judging her, but we don’t want to be with her either.
In that case, it’s time to find better grapes for making wine.
All right sir, I sincerely hope that was helpful…
Until next time,
Jim
